I have been living for 22 years on Planet Earth. So, how 22-year-old me see this world?
There are many things one doesn’t notice their existence normally. However, they are there. It is like looking at a sphere-shaped object with infinite numbers of glass on it. To find them, you need to look at them from a certain angle. A glass that is hit by the light reflects the light. They will state their presence and existence to you. A change in perception can change a person completely.
We wear different masks every day. A person has only one face but he/she wears many masks.
Living in this world isn’t that easy. Firstly, you should learn how to protect yourself. There are always mosquito-like existences who love to butt in your business instead of minding their own. Sometimes, they are not only annoying, but also try to suck your blood to make you suffer.
Everything about this world is “input, process, and output” I think. Something or someone else’s output becomes something or someone else’s input and it is a never-ending loop. This is where the dependency on each other comes from.
Everything is grey. It is not completely light or completely dark.
Our brain functions in a weird way. It is pretty sensitive to negativity. When it comes to oneself, it prefers positivity to negativity. It can’t accept negativity easily. It is also difficult for the brain to accept something different. Being able to accept the way things are is a blessing. Don’t take things personally and only observing is the best way to live, I think.
There was a story I liked when I was in primary school. It was about two parrots. One ended in the hand of pirates and became a pirate parrot. Another ended in the hand of a noble and became a good-mannered and well-spoken parrot. As the story stated, the environment or people around us are very important. For a person to grow and reach his/her full potential, he/she needs the right place.
Being 22 is the age where you are about to enter the working society. Some are already there. To enter society, you need to follow its rules which means you need to tame your rebellious spirit. People expect you to act like an adult: mature and wise. When you are a teenager who acted on impulse which led to mistakes and failures, many chances are there for you to try again. But, when you become an adult, few mistakes are allowed and our societies only accept good results(they prefer outstanding, excellent, great, etc). That’s why you need to become calculative or else your life will be filled with bad experiences and regrets.
Sometimes, you are in a good mood. Sometimes, you are in a bad mood. Sometimes, you think you are lucky. Sometimes, you have bad days. Sometimes, things go smoothly for you. Sometimes, you gave all of your best but nothing works. Sometimes, you think no one is better than you. Sometimes, you think you are the most useless person alive and it is better to have never been born. Sometimes, you are satisfied with everything life has given you. Sometimes, you think the meat on others’ plates is better than yours even though it is prepared by the same chef. Sometimes, you take pride in yourself. Sometimes, you think you are very complicated and twisted. Sometimes, you are enthusiastic and motivated. Sometimes, you are lazy and bored. Sometimes, you want to try new things. Sometimes, you love to stay in your comfort zone. Nothing is wrong with that because this is life and you are alive.
I turned 22. So, what did I achieve in my life? Did I realize my teenage dreams?
Come to think of it, when I was young, I wanted to be a detective, scientist, alchemist, pirate king, ninja, samurai, space traveler, ultimate cultivator, a powerful demon, adventurer, master of sports, guardian of books who knows everything about the universe, pro gamer, strategist, grand master of four elements, time traveler, badass fighter, exorcist, giant robot’s pilot, painter, singer, phantom thief, a cool gambler, archer, marksman, mystery solver with a smart brain, commander, hacker, hero with unique quirk, stand user, mafia, one-punch destroyer, pure-blooded vampire, magician, wanderer, dragon slayer, a vassal of an unknown creature, and many more.
Sadly, I haven’t realized any of them yet. So, what was I doing? Well, I graduated from university with a Bachelor in Computer Science. Who would have thought that I might end up in the CS field? Not even myself. If I had the right environment, I think I am a scientist now.
As a teenager, I was always looking forward to realizing my dreams. I also wanted to succeed in life so badly. It was like I was about to conquer the world. But, the current me sees it as a gilded cage. My frozen dreams can never pass the horizon. So, I stopped chasing after them. Now, my burden is lifted and I am free.
Ordinary life whispered to me and I become a very hollow person standing on the verge of dreams and reality with nothing to grasp on.
Aug 30, 2020
